Read in Cate Blanchett's voice :D

"The world is changed

I feel it in the water

I feel it in the earth

I smell it in the air

Much that once was is lost."

I love Tolkien's 'The Lord of the Rings' and I can't stand anyone who doesn't like it.

Well, its been three days in this new house and I came across my copy of the book with the bookmark in place from the last time I read it. I got transported to the Shire immediately. I love how beautifully they shot the movies.

The beginning lines I picked for this post quite accurately sum up how I feel about how this past fortnight has been. On second thought minus some of the dramatics from the lines.

Its been a depressing week mostly cause I've been fighting with people and also cause I've flunked some important exams. I expected that, I fell sick and dizzy at the exam center.What's completely infuriating is how close I was to passing for the second time!

Now I have to start from scratch at finding a cheap place to stay in the US while I make the short trip to write the exam again.

Oh about the new house, its okay,I guess. It was a nightmare finding a place to stay after coming back.

This time I've promised myself that I'll do whatever I want on my own and without taking any help. Accepting any sort of help from anyone is not turning out to be very good for my mental health.

I'm going to hell ye all!!

Or maybe I'll end up stuck in limbo forever before I can even get there. Hell seems too ambitious a dream to have.

Reading the above does make me uneasy now. I've usually been able to make at least one dark or mildly funny joke in my head during tough times. This time nothing feels even remotely funny.

Well, I think I'm going to hell cause I'm collecting so much bad karma. Everybody around seems so disappointed in me. I think if I went near Janis, I might just disappoint her as well. Dogs like dead meat better.

In fact I think I should set up my own customer complaint desk to field all the calls. Send me a memo!

I remember when I was on my flight back to this place, I kept praying "Oh please God, can't we land in Jamaica rather than Bangalore?". I mean the two aren't very far,are they? A teensy, little detour could hardly do any one any harm.

Then God granted my wish and sent me to a place that goes by the name 'Rock bottom'.


P.S. Whenever I feel better, I'm quite likely to come back and remove this post. I guess its better to just leave it alone for better or for worse. So what if all this sounds rather pathetic and self-indulgent